Sex, power, and intimacy are intricately intertwined in a web that is not complicated. This means that a person cannot think of one without the others featuring at the back of the mind. Power is an aphrodisiac, and just like in any other aspect of life, for example, politics, the person with more power is the one that will have an upper hand in sex and intimacy. This is sadly true, although most people would not subscribe to this phenomenon. There is a myriad of sexual scripts that are learned by people differently. As long as people are deemed unique, there are different sexual preferences (Shaw, & Lee, 34).
Traditionally, there have been myths and misconceptions that have given one gender a raw deal hence propagating the misinformed notion of power. For example, during sexual intercourse, men are expected to be in charge naturally, while women are supposed to be shy. This is because the society considers women who cherish sex as wicked. This scenario significantly interferes with the couple’s emotional intimacy. It has suppressed the value of openness, communication, and trust among couples. This is further propagated by heteropatriarchy, aconceptthat gives men the privilege to permeate every sphere of a woman’s life. In this case, therefore, it is a rule that the man dominates and the woman submits and compliments the man as a subordinate.
For Bauer, this system is militarism in nature and sexual aggression is considered ordinary (73). Women have been denied the opportunity to put in use their natural erotic power. Men assume that intimacy is a trying process given that the society expects them not to exhibit feelings as women. This interferes with their view of sex and need for power. Shaw and Lee, state that the more power the person commands in a relationship, the higher is his/her negotiating advantage for sex (108). This puts women at disadvantage as it is a traditional fact that sex is a man’s castle. Women are denied the right to feel in a society where the man is the cruel master. The male-dominated society has mastered to suppress women’s’ erotic power in order to stay at the helm. It is fascinating to note that women possess immense sexual power, yet they do not use it to full potential as men.