Finally, traditional thinking leads people to believe that a bad marriage or relationship is preferable to a divorce; and women have been systematically conditioned to believe that they must have a man in their lives if they are to be “real women” (Domestic violence, 2009). Women also have been trained to believe that they are the ones who are responsible for making a relationship work (that’s part of the idiotic “boys will be boys” thinking that has poisoned male/female relationships for millennia) and thus they believe that the abuse is somehow their fault (Domestic violence, 2009). They keep trying to fix things until it gets so bad they finally leave, or perhaps die at the hands of the man who claims to love them. Women who stay with abusive husbands or partners are not weak, nor are they somehow asking for the misery they’re suffering. They are victims who have been convinced that they are worthless, and because they believe this lie, they act accordingly. Their abusers often cut them off from friends and family, making them entirely dependent on the abuser. With no one to turn to and no knowledge of the resources available, and trapped by a legal system that often plays “blame the victim”; as well as the horrifying knowledge that women who leave abusive relationships are often much worse off than if they stay, all combine to keep them with their monstrous partners.
The abusive nature of parents is usually transferred to their children and this chain brings forward a violent generation which will perpetrate this vice over a long time of period. According to the American Psychological Association Presidential task force on Violence and the Family APA 1996, a child who witnesses his father abusing the mother is likely to transmit the same behavior into the future generation. The report further showed that 40% of teenage girls between the ages of 14 to 17 know an age mate who has been either hit or has been beaten by their boy friends (Domestic violence statistics, 2006). This is a clear evidence of how this abusive trend starts at an early age, after learning from home.
Abusive relationships however destructive they are, the society has played a big role in propagating this vice through some common beliefs. These are the ones than intimidate the victim from seeking refuge. The authorities also have played a negative role in this by the lack seriousness through which violence cases are taken. In fact, some will view it just as a common occurrence not worthy any effort to solve. Lack of a means to provide for one self or for the children may also make an abused partner to remain in such a relationship. She may have a view that the children will suffer economically or socially once there is divorce or even separation in the relationship. The trauma and psychological problems undergone by an abused partner sometimes may be permanent or take along time to heal. This explains the developing of a negative altitude and lacking the self esteem which is always experienced by these victims. It is however though important to protect this trend from spreading to our children to avoid breeding a harmful generation. Clearly, a lot need to be done to correct these negative perceptions as well as finding a way to curb the spread of this vice. This way, we may reduce the extent of these abuses and their frequency as well.